Introduction: As I read over this story of yesteryear, I found so many wonderful sentences and imagery. I also found several things I desperately wanted to change! I literally laughed out loud at some of them. For example, I laughed that the ages of the horses didn't add up. I also found it humorous that necessary transition periods are greatly lacking. Of course, to preserve the art, I kept the story's original tense, voice, punctuation (begrudgingly) and framework - complete with all the errors from the not yet fully developed author I was at fifteen. Because there are just some things I can't leave alone, I did correct the spelling errors. I hope you enjoy the story. Remember to afford grace; I was only fifteen, after all.
"It's done already." I yelled to my father. "That's done too." "Yeah." "Okay."
My father, Mike, is very persistent. It's been about four years since my mother died in 1992 and, ever since then, he's kept busy running the ranch, keeping me on my toes, and giving riding lessons to four through eleven year olds at our barn office, two acres away from the house.
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The barn is very big and has many stalls, which also means many horses for the kids to choose from. We're usually full with lessons from 2:00pm til about 7:00pm, 8:00pm on weekdays, so you can imagine how crazy it gets around here. The weekends aren't as crazy so, sometimes my dad doesn't need me to help.
The ten acres of land we have isn't easy to keep up so, usually, someone will come to mow the lawn and it takes him most of the day. I don't know his name yet but, he's pretty cute. He has dark brown hair, deep blueish-grey eyes, and is extremely tall. He looks like he's around seventeen, but I don't know. He lives behind us but that isn't very close. He seems kind of quiet which, unfortunately, isn't very good for me.
"Natalie come on down here. Breakfast is ready!" My father said from the bottom of the stairwell.
We always have French toast, and or, pancakes, eggs, and sausage on Saturdays. Well, ever since I was ten. I'm fifteen now. My dad is a wonderful cook! Usually I cook but on Saturdays, my dad gets up before me. I think he likes to give me a break so he lets me sleep.
"Ok. I'll be right down." I yelled back to him.
As we ate breakfast, I couldn't wait to get outside to ride Windstar, my horse. She's my favorite thing in the whole world! Well, beside my family and friends anyway. She's a beautiful ebony stallion with a sleek coconut streaked main and tail. The matching diamond on her head brightly stands out on her face. I remember when my father bought and tamed her for my fourth birthday and, attached around her neck, was a big red bow. I was so ecstatic, that I ran around the house yelling, "I have a horsey, I have a horsey, I have...." It was the best birthday I ever had!
"Are you going over to Christina's before she goes on her trip, like you planned?" My father asked, breaking into my thoughts.
"Yeah. We're going to take Windstar and Trigger up Brentwood Trail. You know how we love those trail rides!" I answered happily. "She said that that was the only thing she wanted to do before she left."
Christina is my best friend and Trigger is her horse. She is going on a vacation to New Jersey and, she is leaving Trigger with us for two months. She lives only one road down, which makes it easy for us to do stuff together. We have known each other all of our lives. Our fathers used to round up wild horses together but, sometimes they bought the horses. That's how my father got Windstar and Trigger. Both of our horses were in the same loot so John, Christina's dad, bought Trigger from us.
Trigger is a brown and white paint. His mane and tail is a deep brown with a mixture of slightly lighter hairs. His ears are pointed slightly and the right one is flipped foreword just a tad. He's really getting old. When my dad bought him, and passed, or sold, him to John, he was two. I think that would have made Windstar about one. Trigger has to be at least fourteen, but he's a good, strong horse and still makes it along those trails like he was a young buck. Windstar doesn't do too bad either. They are very healthy for horses of their age.
"I'm done Dad. It was really good! Thanks." I said putting my plate in the dishwasher. "I think I'm going to leave now. I'll be back around, oh let's see, it's 7:30am now." I said. "How about 12:30p, 1:00pm?" I asked looking at my watch.
"That's fine, but be careful, and make sure you take your heavy jacket. Just in case."
"K, love you!" I said as I walked out of the dining room.
"Natalie." My dad replied.
"What?" I asked walking back into the room.
"You're welcome."
As I walked back out of the room he said, "Natalie come back in here before you leave."
Frustrated I asked, "What?"
"Oh nothing. I just wanted to see how far you'd get if I hadn't called you back." He said laughing.
"Ha, ha. Very funny! I'm leaving now. Are there any other wise things you want to say to totally annoy me?"
"Of course. But I'm going to save them for when you get back."
"Yes, I know. Bye!" I said walking out shaking my head and smiling. My dad can always make me laugh. He's a great guy!
When I arrived at Christina's, she was already on Trigger riding around. I called for her to come on and I rode passed. She followed and caught up.
Together we rode up to Skyview Road, the road forking onto Brentwood Trail. There we decided who would ride in front because the trail is really narrow. We decided it would be her, on account that she won paper-rock-scissors.
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"What time are you flying out?" I asked as we road up the trail.
"We're taking the red eye. So about 1:00am, 1:30am."
"Great. Well you're gonna be all sorts of hyped when you get there," I said sarcastically.
"Yeah, I know. I guess we're going to a mall with a water park in the middle of it. Sounds kind of impossible, huh?"
"Yeah. Slightly."
"Well Dad swears it's true and you have to admit, it does sound really exciting."
"I guess."
"Mom said, 'You know how your father is. He always has to be involved.' I think she meant athletic. He's too old to be athletic. But heck, who can understand anything their parents say anyway?" She said starting to laugh. I started to laugh with her as I looked a my watch.
"Oh my gosh!" I said surprised.
"What?"
"It's already 11:30am. We should head back. I told Dad I would be home at 12:30pm, 1:00pm."
"Well then we have plenty of time." She said relieved.
"All right. Let's go." She said.
We arrived back at the ranch at 1:00pm and my dad stated that Christina should leave Trigger there so she didn't have to do it later. She agreed and I took her home on Windstar. We road so fast that I got back at 1:20pm ready to get to work.
My dad and I mucked out the stalls in the barn and refilled them with hay. After we had finished, we went up to the house to eat lunch.
"We have a lesson at 4:00pm today." My father reminded when we returned to the house.
"Ok. What did you want to do? Did you want me to do it? Did you want to do it? Because you do know that the lesson is for little Tristan, don't you?"
"Well, in that case I'll do it. I was going to have you do it but, Tristan needs some extra help."
"That's what I said it for." I said smiling.
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After we finished eating, we went outside to get ready for Tristan's lesson and the lawn guy was mowing the lawn. My dad saw me eye bawling him and asked, "Why don't you go say, 'hi'?"
"I would but, he's always on the other side of the lawn every time I get the nerve," I said.
"I see," he said smiling.
"And just what is that supposed to mean?" I asked.
"Oh nothing," he said, and I left it at that.
I never did get around to saying hi to him. I just thought to myself, "Hey, there will be other days."
"Dad, Tristin is here," I said walking into the barn with Tristin at my side.
"Hey there. How are you doing today?" my father asked.
"I'm fine, thanks." Tristin stated.
"Well that's good. What do you say we get started, huh?" my dad asked.
"Cool!" Tristin exclaimed.
My dad fixed Tristin up with Callie, a horse we've had for about three years. Callie is very gentle, and tame, so she's a perfect match for Tristin.
Tristin is nine and a real cutie. We have been giving him lessons for two years. He still has some trouble getting to know the feel of the horses motion. He is getting a lot better, however.
"That's good. Keep sliding in your saddle. Hold on with your legs more so you don't fall off. Hold the reins tighter or you won't be able to direct her. Good. That's it. You're stylin'!" I heard my dad say as I came closer to the stable.
"Oh hi sweetheart."
"Hi."
"He's doing really well today. He just needs to hold the reins a little tighter. He can't keep her in line and she's taking advantage of it. It's a good thing she's gentle."
"Glad to hear it dad. But listen, I'm going up to the house to start dinner. So, if you need me, TUFF!" I said jokingly.
"Yeah well that's where you belong, the kitchen, so high-tail it on in there why don't ya?" he replied smiling.
"You know, one of these days, you'll be sorry you ever said those kinds of things to me!" I said smiling back, knowing that I had started the whole thing.
I cooked dinner and called my father in. I knew Tristin was already gone because I saw his mother pick him up through the kitchen window.
After we ate, I cleaned up. My father read in his favorite E-Z chair. At about 9:00pm, I told him I was sleepy and that I was going to bed. He said goodnight and continued to read.
The next morning I was up at 6:30am. My dad was already dressed and everything. He told me that he didn't get to bed until 12:00am. I don't know how he does it. He's truly an amazing man.
I cooked breakfast while my father went out to feed the horses. He came back in and stated Windstar and Trigger had got close last evening. I didn't know how he could have known, but, he's a pretty smart guy so I didn't argue.
"So what do you want to do?" I asked.
"First I want some of those biscuits and gravy!"
"You're always hungry!" I stated. He just looked at me with a silly grin on his face.
After breakfast, we went out to check on the two love birds. Or should I say, horses? Well, whatever you want to call it, they sure were close. Trigger had his head underneath Windstar's, almost like they where holding each other. It was cute but, I thought John and Christina were going to kill us when they got back.
"Why don't you take Windstar for a ride," my dad suggested.
As I road Windstar, I noticed something was wrong with her. She wasn't acting like herself. Usually the rides are steady and controlled. This time she seemed perturbed or distraught. She kept rearing back to home.
"What's wrong girl? Are you hurt?" I asked worriedly getting off. As I looked at all of her legs, and under her hoofs, she leaped and the reins almost completely ripped from my hands.
"Whoa!" I exclaimed. "Whoa. Whoa. Come on girl, I think it's time to take you home." She hurriedly rode back to the ranch and I yelled to my father to come out and help me settle her.
"What is it? Is she hurt?"
"I don't think so. I checked but, I didn't see anything wrong with her. She is acting funny." "How is she acting funny? Be specific," he said.
"When I was riding her she kept wanting to come back here. She wouldn't listen to my commands and she reared on me. I almost feel off because of it. Dad, she's never done that before." "It's all right Natalie. Calm down. She'll be ok. Something probably scared her and she reared," my father assured me.
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For the next two weeks, Windstar didn't let anyone near her. It was almost impossible to get in her stall to muck it out and she reared at any sound of people's voices. On occasion, I saw her laying down and she looked almost dead. Both my father and I were getting worried so we decided to load her up in the trailer and take her to the vet.
The vet was one of our oldest friends. His name is Leonard. Whenever we needed help he was always there for us going that extra mile. Or four if need be.
When there, we impatiently waited for the examination to cease. Finally, after what seemed to be forever, Leonard approached us.
"Mike, Natalie, how are you? It's been a while." "Yes it has," my father said.
"Leonard, is she ok?" I asked.
"She's going to be fine." "If she's ok, then how do you explain her behavior?" I asked.
"Well it seems, Natalie, that Windstar is pregnant. Usually when a horse is going to have a foal they tend to act different. Only because they want to be left alone," he educated.
"Whoa! Windstar's going to have a baby, a foal, I mean? And to think I was so worried. I thought she was sick because she kept laying around the way she did," I said suddenly very happy.
"Now this means that you'll have to stay off of her for a while. At least three months," Leonard stated.
"Don't worry. I'll keep her in line," my father said.
I just looked at him. It wasn't like I was born yesterday. I'm not a child. I knew I had to stay off of her. And if anyone would know that it was my father.
On the way home it was quiet. I was excited that Windstar was going to have a foal, it was the fact that I had to stay away from her that I didn't like. She's practically my life. I couldn't see my world without her in it. I love a lot of things and people, especially my father and Christina, but I love to ride too. I guess after my mom died I needed someone right there besides my father. I suppose it's silly, being that the other person was a horse but, I really love her! Christina also helped me a long but she didn't live with me. She has her life too and I just can't expect that every time I call she's going to be there. That wouldn't be fair to her.
As time passed Windstar got bigger, and fatter, and more honoree. The time came for nature to take it's course.
For two months I kept checking on her. One morning I walked in the barn and didn't see her head sticking out of the stall over the door like usual. It turns out, that she was laying on the floor of her stall like before. I called, panic-stricken, for my father and he ran in.
"What is is?" he asked out of breath.
"Look!" I exclaimed pointing in Windstar's direction.
"She's going into labor! We'll need to help her along!"
"You mean we have to deliver it? Us? You and me?" I asked surprised.
"Well what did you think, we were just going to sit here and watch?" he giggled.
"I suppose not."
I didn't know what to do to help so I ran to the barn office and called Leonard. I told him Windstar was having her foal and he said he was on his way and not to worry.
Leonard arrived just as the foal's head pushed out. I as so flabbergasted. I had never seen a horse give birth before, only read and heard stories about it.
My father and Leonard helped Windstar push the foal out by pulling on the foal's head. Finally the last of the foal was out and laying beside Windstar, who was exhausted and also laying down. I just stood there looking at them. My father asked me what I wanted to call it.
"Well, I guess....I don't know. What do you think?"
"It's your foal."
"Well what is it? A boy or a girl?" I asked confused.
"It's a girl," he stated, laughing.
"Well you don't have to laugh at me," I said. "How about Stargazer?"
"Sounds like a chip off the old horse to me," he said referring to Windstar's name.
The foal was a beautiful bluish-black with a slight tint of red sienna. She had the same diamond as her mother and was just as wonderful!
"When can I ride her again?" I asked Leonard.
"Not until she has completely recovered. I would say about another week or two. You do know, however, that the foal with tag along with you, actually her mother, while you're riding her don't you? Also, Windstar won't go anywhere without her," Leonard told.
"Yes sir, I did," I stated.
For the rest of the day, until dinner, I sat with Windstar and Stargazer watching intently. As I watched, I noticed again, that Windstar was just lying there. I figured it was normal and continued to watch. The idea of having another horse as wonderful as Windstar was, to me, an amazing thing! I didn't think there would ever be a horse alive as wonderful as her.
My dad called me into the house to eat. I was surprised that he cooked. Usually preparation time of dinner is his time to read or catch up on business. He probably wanted to let me enjoy what had happened earlier that day.
Dinner was delicious and full of discussion. We had roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, and cooked carrots. He makes a killer roast! We talked about what had happened that day and that it was a gift. My father told me he was very impressed at the way I handled myself that morning. I didn't think I had done anything to help but, I said 'thanks' anyway.
After I cleaned up I was beat so I went to bed early. My dad said he was surprised that I wasn't sitting with the horses again. I stated that I would've but didn't think I had enough strength to get out there. He laughed and told me to go to bed.
The next morning I didn't even start breakfast like usual. I got up, took my shower and got dressed, and ran out to see Windstar and Stargazer. When I got there Windstar was still laying in the same place. Stargazer was standing over her. I couldn't believe she was already standing but I saw it so it must have been true.
"Hey you two," I said. "Windstar you should be up by now." I got absolutely no response. "Windstar?" Again nothing. "Dad HELP!" I screamed as I lunged for Windstar. He ran to us and found me hovered over her crying.
"What's the matter?" he asked puzzled and out of breath.
"I don't know. I came out here to see them and when I got her she was just laying here, DEAD!" I said in between tears, sniffling.
"Honey, there is no way she can be dead. She was fine yesterday."
"I know that Dad! You don't think I know that? Look at her! Come over here and look at her!" I cried frustrated and upset.
He walked toward us and suddenly he became wide-eyed and long jawed. He realized that what I was saying was true and knelt down to me. I cried in his arms while he squeezed me. He comforted me by saying everything would be ok. I didn't think so.
After a while he said, "Come on let's go inside. There's no reason for us to stay out here."
"Oh yes there is! She wasn't your horse, Dad. She was mine! And what's more, she was my best friend, other than Christina. You just don't understand do you?" I screamed in my defense.
"I don't understand? What are you talking about? My wife, your mother, died, and I don't understand. What kind of logic is that Natalie? She was my best friend," he said still calm.
"I don't know! I just don't anymore. Dad, what am I going to do without her?"
"How about live? Honey, just live. That's the only way to get through stuff like this. And think, you still have me, Christina, and look over there," he said pointing to Stargazer. "You have a wonderful new foal just like her."
"It's not the same and you know it. I know who I still have, and I love them, but I also know who I've lost."
"We all do baby. And it's life. I don't like it anymore than you do but, you have got to take it and move on!"
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"I don't want to move on! I want the people that are gone to come back!" I yelled stubbornly running out of the barn.
I ran to our three story house, up two flights of stairs, and through my bedroom door. I through myself on the bed and cried until I had the biggest headache I had ever had in all my fifteen years of living. It felt like someone had slammed a sledgehammer against my head. I stayed there the rest of the day and through dinner. When I didn't come down to eat, my father brought up my dinner. He didn't say anything when he came up, he just handed me the plate and looked at me with a face that said he was sorry. I'm glad he understood the way he had, but at that time, it seemed as though he was saying to get over it in an hour. I just couldn't do that. I knew that he was right I just didn't want to except it.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
As time went on and Christina came back I was still withdrawing from the things that I loved. Christina, and my father, stood by me and were there through all the hardship.
I never completely got over the death of Windstar, just as I hadn't with the death of my mother. I did however, accept it and roll with it. I eventually realized all the good things I had and knew I still loved the things I lost. My mother and Windstar would always be in my heart and thoughts. I would never forget them or the great things we did together. The memories I would treasure for always.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
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